May Thoughts: Graduation and Being Kind to Yourself

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It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that just one year ago yesterday, May 17th,  I was walking in my college graduation ceremony; my head filled with aspirations as well as fear. At the time, I honestly had no idea what I, or my life, would be like a year from that point.
 Lets recap, shall we? 
Over the past year I have moved a total of three times, left two jobs, and had countless meltdowns along the way. The first 6 to 8 months after graduation felt like an endless April, where mayhem and mishaps rained upon me like I was sitting under a permanent thundercloud. I had a wonderful support system to guide me through it, but I still wondered if there would every come a day when the storm would clear.
Thankfully, that day finally came... slowly, but it eventually arrived.
 I learned very quickly after college that its good to have a life infused with a certain amount of unpredictability. A little variety is what makes life fun. However, I also learned that "unpredictability" loses it's luster very quickly when you have no solid foundation on which to stand. Ultimately, I succeeded in my fight to achieve my independence.Hurray! In hindsight though, I realize that I was a bit harsh with myself along the way...something I have come to regret. My decisions were my own, but nevertheless I agonized over the smallest things. The hardest thing was dealing with the fact that even the best laid plans can slide through your fingertips like sand.  

No one can prepare you for what life will be like after college; granted, they say the same thing about having a child for the first time. I find that to be an incredible coincidence, especially considering that once you graduate college, its up to you to, essentially, "raise yourself." Sure, your parents can help you with certain things, but ultimately it's YOUR job to make sure you pay your college loans on time, to make sure you take your car in for routine maintenance, to wake yourself up before you sleep through your alarm in the morning, and to get yourself to your job interview on time.

I know that last paragraph came off as lecture-y. I don't mean for it to be. After all, in case you didn't notice from the picture at the beginning of this post, the overall message is not to push yourself to perfection.That is impossible to achieve and don't bother even trying. Its just not going to happen. Also, after college I wasted countless hours comparing my success (or lackthereof) to others in my age group. Don't bother doing that either. It wont do you any good. The one thing I want you, dear reader, to take from this post is that, once you find yourself in the process of "adulting' as they say, there will be times when you need to give yourself a swift kick in the butt and there will be many more times where you need to be gentle with yourself.  Be gentle with yourself for not doing the dishes right away and opting for takeout a bit too much, be gentle with yourself for letting the laundry pile up in that corner while you focus on adjusting your resume for the hundredth time, Be gentle with yourself for not always landing that job interview, be gentle with yourself when you see on social media how well your other classmates are doing, be gentle with yourself when you lie awake at night and cry because it all gets to be a little too much...

But mostly dear reader, remember, don't stop trying, because part of being gentle with yourself is holding on to the fact that your happiness is important and its worth fighting for.

Much Love,
Hayleigh

A Weekend At The Boston Independent Film Festival

Sorry that I haven't written a post in a while. I'm still getting adjusted to having a consistent 40 hour work week. Not that I'm complaining, I love my job. I just need to find my own rhythm again when it comes to pursuing my creative endeavors. Anyway, I digress...
 

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the Boston's Independent Film Festival for the first time ever. I had no idea what to expect. I've never been to a lot of festival's to begin with; but a film festival? This was something completely new for me.
I could've just seen just one film, but I opted to see four. Why not get into the festival spirit right?
So last Thursday night my little indie-film adventure began. All the films I got tickets for were playing at the Somerville theater, and let me just say, finding parking there was a nightmare. If you ever find yourself going to a movie, let alone a movie festival at the Somerville theater, be sure to get there at at least an hour early! Space is limited!
First came the parking, next came the waiting. Even though I had a premium ticket for the movie I saw that night, the only thing that separated me from the standard ticket-holders is that my line was located on a different side of the theater. One really great perk though was that the festival volunteers came over to us with buckets of free goodies like potato chips, coffee and salted caramels. Given that my post-college policy specifies never turning down free food, I grabbed what I could, making my bag all the heavier.
I have to say, the interior of the Somerville theater is far more decorative than its exterior. It has a very vintage movie theater hipster vibe. My favorite part though had to be the owl lights that lined the rows of seats. You can check out a picture of them I took here on Instagram. I want those lights in my bedroom.
On my second night of the festival I saw two movies in a row, something which I have never done before. You wouldn't think all that waiting could be so exhausting, but it is. Not to mention that I almost didn't make it to one of them because of the parking situation. Close call doesn't even begin to cover it. Here's the thing; in Massachusetts, fighting over parking spaces can be a brutal and even bloody affair....they don't call us "Massholes" for nothing.

By the end of the third night, I was in relatively good spirits despite the fact that last movie I saw at the festival was, for lack of a better word, terrible (read the description of The Keeping Room). Still, it was a truly great experience and I do look forward to potentially going next year. I know that sounds super non-committal...but I will go provided I do more research on the movies that are playing
Now we come to my favorite part of the post. Below you will find my "Mini Reviews" for each of the movies I saw at the festival, some of them were really good, and others were....well...keep reading...


Slow West

This was the first movie I saw at the festival. It starred Michael Fassbender (aka: Magneto) and Kodi Smit-McPhee (The voice of Laika's ParaNorman). The story focuses on a young Scottish boy named Jay who traverses the dangerous Colorado Plains in search of his lost love. On the way, he encounters bounty hunters, tribes of displaced Native Americans and the harsh elements of the American West. Needless to say, the kid is in over his head. This was an excellent start to the festival. I'm not really big on westerns, but this one held my interest. The performances are excellent and Fassbender really shines in his role as the bounty hunter/traveling companion. "Slow West" has all the hallmarks of a great western, but most of the violence occurs off-screen or is only partially shown (Something which another movie in my list should have done). This allows our minds to create the level of bloodshed we desire. If your a western fan, or you are just looking for a good action movie that keeps you in suspense, go see this movie.

7 Chinese Brothers
 

Honestly, I didn't know what to make of this movie. Make no mistake, Jason Schwartzman is great in his role as Larry, a deadbeat whose life is an endless booze cruise. I got a big kick out of Jason's clever quips and his devil-may-care attitude. And there were moments in the movie that truly made me laugh out loud. However, as the story unfolded, I found myself torn by whether or not I wanted the story to continue, or rather, whether it should continue. Jason's character does go through some level of character development, and its that transition that held my interest. Overall though, I didn't feel very invested in the story or any of the people in Larry's life for that matter. Except, of course, for Larry's dog which is actually Schwartzman's real life dog Arrow. I could have just watched the scenes containing only the dog an I would have walked out of the movie happier than I did. Even though there was a live Q and A with one of the actresses from the movie, I remained unimpressed. I even began to wonder at a certain point if the poor girl even remembered what actually happened in the movie. It might entertain some audiences, but for me, 7 Chinese Brothers was a very mixed bag.

The Keeping Room

Hailed for its supposedly feminist message, "The Keeping Room" intrigued me from the moment I read the movie description. Four women who have to defend themselves, and their home from soldiers during the Civil War? Sounds so promising! Right!?
WRONG! Warning, spoilers ahead!
I had such hopes for this movie. Truly I did. I thought for sure it was going to be the civil war version of "Home Alone," with three young women MacGyver-ing crazy traps made out of wood and petticoats. Nope. I thought the union soldiers stalking these women would run away with their tails between their legs. Nope. I thought that there would be some semblance of a happy ending! NOPE! What did I get? One of the women, named Augusta, is badly wounded, the youngest girl Louise  (16 at the most) is violently raped, and the third woman, Mad, loses her long lost love after he comes to rescue them (as he gets accidentally shot during the fire-fight that ensues). Depressing doesn't even begin to cover it! Don't get me wrong, the level of acting in this movie is high caliber; perhaps even a bit too good at times. The overall problem that I have with this movie is that it doesn't deliver a feminist message. Sure, all the women make it out alive. But you get the sense that all of them are basically dead inside by the end; not only because of the horrors they endured, but also because none of them truly got a "win" throughout this entire film. Oh, and their house that they tried so hard to defend? BURNED! This is just a movie about suffering in all its forms. Do yourself a favor and skip seeing this movie.

Iris

 

Now we come to the part of the post where I discuss my favorite movie of the festival which, surprisingly, turned out to be a documentary! Iris focuses on the life of Iris Apfel, a vibrant,  93 year old icon whose is widely known in the fashion community as "The Rare Bird of Fashion." Through the lens of Albert Maysles, the audience gets an an in-depth look into Iris' life as a former White House interior designer, a collector of costume jewelry and of course, a prominent artist in the New York fashion scene. I found this glasses-loving-gal both witty and charming. She delivers so many great one liners that I only had a moments rest before I was laughing again. This woman is in a word...incredible. All the things she has accomplished, the places shes been; its just so inspiring. However, if I had to pick one aspect that I loved most about this documentary, its the light that it shines on Iris's marriage. The love shared between Iris and her husband Carl was too adorable for words. There is even a scene where she wordlessly places a blanket around Carl while he is being interviewed, to which he responds by stating into the camera "She thought I was cold, she was right!" If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Rather than shrinking away from this woman's unique and quirky style, the fashion world embraced her with open arms. And even if you don't consider yourself particularly interested in fashion, I encourage you to embrace this documentary. Iris is the woman we all wish was our grandmother, filled with wit and, more importantly, wisdom. As she herself says: "I don't care about pretty, I don't like pretty. The whole world might be against me, but I don't care."
If you opt out of seeing all the other movies listed in my post, at least see this one.

Well that about wraps it up for this post! Again, sorry for not writing more consistently, I'll try to be more productive in the future ;)

Much Love,
Hayleigh